Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Anniversaries and Thanksgiving

Type the word "Anniversary" into the search engine for this blog and you will find many posts from the last 6 years about Jenelle. The first anniversary of the day we found out she was having seizures was the hardest, as was the second anniversary that followed. During that time we had no idea what was going to happen with our girl, and we were living moment to moment. Over time, the anniversaries have gotten easier. In fact, it wasn't until I started typing this that I realized we just passed 6 years for Jenelle's seizure diagnosis.

Next week, another first anniversary is coming. Next Wednesday will be one year from the day of my cancer diagnosis. Not only is it a specific date, it is the day before Thanksgiving, so it reminds us of a difficult time for the entire family. Last Thanksgiving, Brett and I did not attend.

People have been warning me that this anniversary was going to be tough, that everything may hit me all at once. But in all honesty, I think it's going to be OK, because it's a different kind of anniversary. Instead of a reminder of something horrible, it's a celebration because I am still here. And just when I start to think that this is all about how I'm going to handle it, I realize there are others to consider.

Recently, Jack has been having some difficulty sleeping at night. A few nights ago, I went in to his bedroom to talk to him it about it. I asked if something was bothering him and at first he hemmed and hawed and said "No, I'm just really nervous about something." After quizzing him about school, sports and other things being the cause of his nervousness, I finally said, "Jack, Thanksgiving is coming next week and we'll have some time off to be together without school and stuff. It will be fun, don't worry!" And Jack responded, "Well Mommy, that's what makes me nervous. Last year you weren't there for Thanksgiving. Are you sure you're going to be there this year?" "Absolutely" I promised.

I now realize, I'm not the only one going through this cancer thing. While I may always be positive and optimistic, not everyone else feels that way and it may be tougher for someone else. So as a celebration of my diagnosis anniversary, we're going to eat our "desserts first" the night before with special friends. Because life is too short to skip dessert because you stuffed yourself with turkey on Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Thank you once again for your support and for the many prayers for the Curran family this past year. We couldn't have survived without you.


Timestep said...

Thanksgiving has always been a special time. It's a day I've always loved. I was surprised when the first t-day after Sydney was born when I couldn't keep my emotions under wraps. I kept tearing up. It didn't take me long to figure out it was because I was looking around taking inventory of what I almost missed. Yes, the anniversary's hit, but thanksgiving was almost worse. It was a reminder that I almost missed sharing simple days.

I'm glad you are here to celebrate with us!

Leightongirl said...

Happy anniversary, dear friend, and happy thanksgiving.

Jennifer said...

Kelly - You are so dear! Often in a crisis it's hard to remember everyone in a family is affected. I rented My Sister's Keeper thru I-Tunes yesterday - what a tear jerker..I had no idea what it was even about...the movie does an excellent job of getting the point across that when a family member is sick (or has cancer) it affects everyone. Your sweet Jack breaks my heart..I think as parents we want so badly to protect our kids to keep them from having to have these emotions...but life's lesson is you can't protect them from such things. I know with having Adam and all he goes thru sometimes I get really emotional when I see how it makes Emma feel...and it makes me furious that there's nothing, not one single thing I can do to keep her from feeling it. Dessert first...I love it! Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

Same to you, dear, Kelly!


Army of Mom said...

That's awesome girl. Congrats on the anniversary and many more to come. Hug your dear sweet Jack for me. Our kids are way too bright to miss things. :) God bless you. Praise to God that you ARE, indeed, here for another year of KCA.