I'm not sure which is worse; being immediately taken from your bed at home to the hospital and being told you'll be there for a month, or knowing and having time to plan ahead as you are go back to the hospital for another month. In the first instant, you are in too much shock and still adjusting to your diagnosis. In the second instant, you know what to expect and you can't get out of it.
The last couple of days have been tough for me sleep wise. I've been up late worrying about the kids and how this will once again disrupt their normal lives. That part hurts the most, and knowing I won't see them for a while. Brett will be with me most of the time, so that is a comfort and something I look forward to. I try not to think about the procedures, because I know eventually I will get my energy back. This has to be done, and we may as well get started.
UCLA called this morning and scheduled the placement of my central line at 9:15 a.m., and my ECHO heart test at 10:15 a.m. I was quite surprised because I imagined we'd just drive up there, casually check in, get cozy in my room and then maybe get around to the procedures and such sometime in the afternoon, but it sounds like they mean business. Brett and I have learned from my last stay, and will not be giving out my phone number. If this chemo round is anything like last time, I should be feeling bad half way into it. I'm not taking nearly as much luggage (or clothes) and will try to update here when we can.
UCLA says that I will be there to receive 5 days of chemo via IV, and when that is done I will come home. They estimate that I will be home for 5 days with a nurse visiting every day until I get neutropenic (when my immunity is very low.) Once that happens, then I will be back in the hospital for another 3 weeks. It seems weird, and wrong to get that "down time" at home, but I keep reminding myself that UCLA does this all the time, so they must know what they are talking about, and they must trust that I will be fine. If that is the case, I should be home on Monday, and back in the hospital February 5.
Thank you all once again for your thoughts, prayers, gifts, and for those of you helping us out with the kids. After this round, I'll be half way to being done. I'm looking forward to passing this next hurdle, and truly appreciate having you all on my side as we continue to Kick Cancer's Ass (KCA!)
Thanks again - I'll keep you posted.