I'm not sure which is worse; being immediately taken from your bed at home to the hospital and being told you'll be there for a month, or knowing and having time to plan ahead as you are go back to the hospital for another month. In the first instant, you are in too much shock and still adjusting to your diagnosis. In the second instant, you know what to expect and you can't get out of it.
The last couple of days have been tough for me sleep wise. I've been up late worrying about the kids and how this will once again disrupt their normal lives. That part hurts the most, and knowing I won't see them for a while. Brett will be with me most of the time, so that is a comfort and something I look forward to. I try not to think about the procedures, because I know eventually I will get my energy back. This has to be done, and we may as well get started.
UCLA called this morning and scheduled the placement of my central line at 9:15 a.m., and my ECHO heart test at 10:15 a.m. I was quite surprised because I imagined we'd just drive up there, casually check in, get cozy in my room and then maybe get around to the procedures and such sometime in the afternoon, but it sounds like they mean business. Brett and I have learned from my last stay, and will not be giving out my phone number. If this chemo round is anything like last time, I should be feeling bad half way into it. I'm not taking nearly as much luggage (or clothes) and will try to update here when we can.
UCLA says that I will be there to receive 5 days of chemo via IV, and when that is done I will come home. They estimate that I will be home for 5 days with a nurse visiting every day until I get neutropenic (when my immunity is very low.) Once that happens, then I will be back in the hospital for another 3 weeks. It seems weird, and wrong to get that "down time" at home, but I keep reminding myself that UCLA does this all the time, so they must know what they are talking about, and they must trust that I will be fine. If that is the case, I should be home on Monday, and back in the hospital February 5.
Thank you all once again for your thoughts, prayers, gifts, and for those of you helping us out with the kids. After this round, I'll be half way to being done. I'm looking forward to passing this next hurdle, and truly appreciate having you all on my side as we continue to Kick Cancer's Ass (KCA!)
Thanks again - I'll keep you posted.
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10 comments:
Thinking of you and wishing you well. You've shown J & J how to be strong. You are amazing. As moms, we worry about all details, but they're in good hands. You focus on your care and those sweeties will be welcoming you home in a few days. KCA!!
Stay strong. Keeping you in my prayers.
Being half way done is going to be so great! I hope this round is over before you know it. You are an amazing, inspiring woman and I'm proud to call you my friend. Go KCA!! We're all cheering for you!
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Time to go and KCA!!
Marcie
(BT board)
Kelly you are so strong! I will keep you and your beautiful family in my prayers.
You have lots of reasons to be reassured that your children will be fine despite these separations from you. Add my reassurances. I wish I could donate some time with your children.
In lieu of that, my prayers are ongoing for you while in the healing care of UCLA. May God work through their hands.
Barbara
It is an interesting observation. I guess it was nice that you were able to get a good night's sleep when you were blissfully unaware of what would lie ahead the last time.
I hope this round goes well. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Linda
Stay strong Kelly - and know that so many people are thinking of you and praying for you.
Kelly, you and your family stay in our prayers .... KCA!!!
Still praying for you...
And like you said, after this round, you are 1/2 way done...that means that you can see the finish line!
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