Jenelle had an ear infection over the weekend. Last Friday she was running 101, and again on Saturday so we made a trip to urgent care. The right ear was infected and we left after 40 minutes with a prescription for Zithromax. She was fine on Sunday, but woke with a fever of 102.5 yesterday. Immediately I knew I would be staying home with her all day.
Yesterday was one of the best “Mommy & Jenelle Only” days ever. We cuddled, we hugged and if not for the 102 fever I knew she couldn’t possibly have faked, I would have thought she was being sick on purpose to skip school and spend the day with just me. Sometimes I wonder what she is thinking. Which brings me back to my dream.
A year ago when the show Medium first came out, I was surfing the website for the real life Allison Dubois and saw that she had an email address for people wanting “Closure” about loved ones that have passed on. Next to the email address, there was a warning that at that time they could not assure that all emails would be returned promptly as the real life Allison was busy working on the new show, etc. (I have since noticed that this feature has been removed from her website as she is too busy.)
I felt compelled to write to her and sent a very brief email asking if she also had the ability to communicate with persons still alive that could not communicate (i.e. babies and the mentally retarded.) I explained briefly that I had a child with special needs and that I always wanted to know if she was aware of what was going on and whether or not she was happy.
I got a response the very next day. It read:
Yes I can do that and let me save you some pain and money. Your daughter knows she's loved and does feel happiness. To her when she feels an episode it's almost like a void in her day. She's in good hands and is quite angelic to those who've passed that help you take care of her.
All My Best,
I still cry when I read this email response. It has meant so much to me. I do believe that there are Angels everywhere, and this response moved me deeply. It could have been a “canned” answer, but it is what I needed to hear at the time. Just like my dream the other night. Although sometimes caring for Jenelle feels like being on auto-pilot, I think she truly realizes all we do for her benefit. And although she may never speak or have the capability to sign, in my dreams she is thankful. And truly, that is all I need to know for now.