There is no other word for it, but Jenelle has been an absolute bitch this past week/weekend. She's been crabby, cranky, crying inconsolably and just in an out right bitchy mood. If you don't believe me, ask her teacher - she said she'd back me up on that one!
I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but a week before the 4th of July, Jenelle had strep throat. She had a high fever and was crying inconsolably. Life would be so much easier if she could simply point to the part that hurts, or better tell us what was wrong. Instead we go through a process of elimination and eventually to the doctor and/or urgent care. She ended her antibiotic on the 4th of July, and was an absolute doll for the week that followed.
Last Thursday, Jenelle had a half day at school, so she had been at daycare since noon. Around 3:00, her daycare provider called me worried because she had increased seizures and would not stop screaming and crying. In fact, I could hear Jenelle wailing in the background. Our daycare provider has the patience of a saint!
Other than the seizures, Jenelle had been crying like this the two days prior. In fact, I let her cry her self to sleep both nights, because her crying seemed behavioral. Once our daycare provider mentioned seizures, I figured we needed to check her ears and throat. Our doctor was out of the office, so this meant going to urgent care. As soon as we arrived at Urgent Care, Jenelle was happy as a clam. As if she knew we were finally believing her and the doctor would make it all better. I felt guilty writing as our "reason for visit" to be "uncontrollable crying" when she was happy and smiling. No fever, no crying, and five minutes after meeting the doctor, he diagnosed a re-lapse of strep throat and sent us home with a prescription.
And then the guilt sets in. I let her cry herself to sleep when she was in pain! How did I miss that? Probably because she didn't have a fever. Regardless, the guilt was there. At least she is some what on the mend.
My biggest fear for Jenelle is that she may hurt herself internally, and that we wouldn't be able to figure it out. We think Jenelle understands words - perhaps maybe talks in her head, but the words do not vocalize and she cannot sign. Someday we'll figure things out. Hopefully someday soon.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
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I understand where you are coming from completely! Other moms have NO IDEA the worry and guilt we live with almost daily. Hang in there, vent when you need too and know you are not alone. Jenelle knows you love her, I truly believe that. Our dreams for our daughters are so differnt aren't they? We want our daughter's to be able to tell us when they hurt while other moms are worried their kids aren't counting high enough or they do not know all thier letters. UGH! I am here for you......
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